Time flies fast. I could have sworn that it has been just then when I entered the Aspirancy Program. All young, immature and not wholeheartedly. Okay, well that was 4 years ago. Way too long for self preparation, but now, for my last two years in the program, I can say that I've grown to be the total opposite now. Is this God working in me? Or am I just finding myself lost in the idea of living a blissful life of selflessness and faith.
First of all, I would like to welcome the new year with great expectations of endless faith seeking and joyous moments of fun with friends and family. For me, the new year has opened a new chapter to my vocation discernment. 2010 is the year when I will apply for the Postulancy. 2010 is the year for me to search deeper within for the answers of what my purpose is in life.
04 January 2010 is the day I started my life as a Resident Aspirant. Here, I will live, eat and pray with the Brothers of the Taft Community. This a drastic step I have chosen to take for me to learn more about (and from) the Brothers and the congregation before I enter my next formal step of discernment. I believe this step will greatly contribute to my formation through enhancing my prayer life, to let me detach myself from the outside world (which indeed can tempt me to change my interest in the religious life), and to have the privilege as well to get to know the Brothers who have inspired me for more than 4 years.Together with my fellow three Aspirants, namely John, Toby and Dan, I believe this experience will be worthwhile and of great help.
So I've been living in communion with the Brothers and my fellow Aspirants for about 10 days already. And may I say that it is no joke to wake up in the wee hours of the day for prayers and Mass. It is a struggle, but I believe this will help train me to become obedient in complying with what is set for me. So far, it's been great. Mom had the opportunity of seeing where I'm going to be spending the next three months of my life, and she also got to meet Brother Rey Mejias.
To set the record straight, to become a Resident Aspirant was a choice. No one forced me, no not even my mentor, and to be frank the rest of the family barely even approved of it. It was a choice that I believe I had to make in order for me to grow.
I've learned that even though you're not under the roof of your parents anymore, you will always be their son no matter what.I don't believe that I'm wasting my time. I don't believe I'm wasting anything at all. So this step could either be an investment to a life to be lived in service for man, or an investment for me to become a better man. Both ways are good.
So the other night I had the opportunity to talk with my high school sweet heart. No flirting or anything! But yeah, the questions I ask sometimes always leave me dumbfounded. Kinda weird, yeah? Well anyway, I asked her: If there was one thing, place or event that you can go back to in time, what would it be, and why? So she answers, she tells me about one of her incredible tours around the world. She's taken a cruise to Alaska with her family, zero problems, zero stress, nothing but happy moments. And returns the question to me. I smile at the thought that she had a great time with her family. Thinking about how she looked like while she was typing her answer away. Then all of a sudden, I freeze, trying to think back on a perfect family vacation I've had with no problems. I really couldn't think of one in a jif. I know I've had several happy vacations, but yeah, there is the usual fuss. Then I find myself digging deeper. I start crying out of nowhere.
So what does this mean for me? Maybe I'm affected by the fact that I've never seen my family complete, having fun and being what a family should be? Maybe I've never given my parents the opportunity to have a stress free vacation. Maybe. And I guess it just saddened me because somehow, I do want to give my parents a little something in return for all that they've done, for all that they've given. I would wanna see that day where we would have our moment of genuine happiness as well. I'm not saying that I come from a family that isn't happy or anything. There's the joy and everything, it's just that we seldom have each other there.
First of all, I would like to welcome the new year with great expectations of endless faith seeking and joyous moments of fun with friends and family. For me, the new year has opened a new chapter to my vocation discernment. 2010 is the year when I will apply for the Postulancy. 2010 is the year for me to search deeper within for the answers of what my purpose is in life.
04 January 2010 is the day I started my life as a Resident Aspirant. Here, I will live, eat and pray with the Brothers of the Taft Community. This a drastic step I have chosen to take for me to learn more about (and from) the Brothers and the congregation before I enter my next formal step of discernment. I believe this step will greatly contribute to my formation through enhancing my prayer life, to let me detach myself from the outside world (which indeed can tempt me to change my interest in the religious life), and to have the privilege as well to get to know the Brothers who have inspired me for more than 4 years.Together with my fellow three Aspirants, namely John, Toby and Dan, I believe this experience will be worthwhile and of great help.
So I've been living in communion with the Brothers and my fellow Aspirants for about 10 days already. And may I say that it is no joke to wake up in the wee hours of the day for prayers and Mass. It is a struggle, but I believe this will help train me to become obedient in complying with what is set for me. So far, it's been great. Mom had the opportunity of seeing where I'm going to be spending the next three months of my life, and she also got to meet Brother Rey Mejias.
To set the record straight, to become a Resident Aspirant was a choice. No one forced me, no not even my mentor, and to be frank the rest of the family barely even approved of it. It was a choice that I believe I had to make in order for me to grow.
I've learned that even though you're not under the roof of your parents anymore, you will always be their son no matter what.I don't believe that I'm wasting my time. I don't believe I'm wasting anything at all. So this step could either be an investment to a life to be lived in service for man, or an investment for me to become a better man. Both ways are good.
So the other night I had the opportunity to talk with my high school sweet heart. No flirting or anything! But yeah, the questions I ask sometimes always leave me dumbfounded. Kinda weird, yeah? Well anyway, I asked her: If there was one thing, place or event that you can go back to in time, what would it be, and why? So she answers, she tells me about one of her incredible tours around the world. She's taken a cruise to Alaska with her family, zero problems, zero stress, nothing but happy moments. And returns the question to me. I smile at the thought that she had a great time with her family. Thinking about how she looked like while she was typing her answer away. Then all of a sudden, I freeze, trying to think back on a perfect family vacation I've had with no problems. I really couldn't think of one in a jif. I know I've had several happy vacations, but yeah, there is the usual fuss. Then I find myself digging deeper. I start crying out of nowhere.
So what does this mean for me? Maybe I'm affected by the fact that I've never seen my family complete, having fun and being what a family should be? Maybe I've never given my parents the opportunity to have a stress free vacation. Maybe. And I guess it just saddened me because somehow, I do want to give my parents a little something in return for all that they've done, for all that they've given. I would wanna see that day where we would have our moment of genuine happiness as well. I'm not saying that I come from a family that isn't happy or anything. There's the joy and everything, it's just that we seldom have each other there.
And with that in mind, I've also realized that hey, that's the way my family is! We won't be the Tanwangcos if we weren't the way we live our lives. It's what makes us who we are. And that alone made me smile.
So here's to a new beginning. A new year, a new flat, and a wider perspective on the things that life gives us: the gift of family, community and life itself. Happy new year everyone. May you have a blessed year ahead of you!
