I kinda started this ritual before I go to sleep a few weeks back wherein I'd check God's message (an app on Facebook). Its become a habit of mine which I copied from a very good friend. Its a random message generator that helps me reflect sometimes, well, most of the time. It makes myself ponder on possibilities of what will happen throughout the rest of the day, and it also helps me decide on certain things. I'm not saying that it is 100% right to listen to what a random message generator would say, heck, same goes with horoscopes, but yeah. Its just fun. So today's message is:
Don't worry guys, because even I'm confused. Now I'm really wondering. What step is this particular message pertaining to? Its 3:00 in the morning, and maybe, the step I should take is for me to hit the sack.
So further on in the day. I had lunch with my ex-girlfriend. I have to admit it, it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. I was all smiles inside and out and yeah, it went pretty well. It makes me nostalgic of the things that we've been through, both good and bad. We had lunch at one of the oldest tambayans we use to hang out at back when we were just friends. Conversation went well. And to my surprise, we didn't end up fighting. She kept making bola by saying how I've lost weight and how whiter I got. Like what the hell, right? I know I'm buying you lunch ex-girlfriend but please, that's just over board. Haha. I doubt she was flirting. Who knows? Well at least we're not just "online buddies" anymore. We're text mates now. Haha kidding.
Heading back to the office, well, I don't wanna talk about that. Haha.
So later on in the day, we decide on hanging out together, again. But we end up in her car, on our way up north. In the car we talk about whatever has happened during the day. All of a sudden our song plays. Bummer, man. Then the serious mode kicks in, so I ask her if she is happy with her life, if she is content with what she already has and what she already is. And her answer, steady lang. So besides the mixed emotions already stirring within me, I kinda get the feeling that even without me being in her life, she would be happy. There's totally nothing wrong with that. But for some reason, I felt empty. I don't know how to describe the feeling. But I felt awful. Sudden change in mood kind of thing. I don't know if the reason why I feel empty is because I'm accepting the fact that she doesn't need me in her life or its just the emptiness left behind by the love I, then and there, let go. Lord, can you fill me in? Literally.
So further on in the day. I had lunch with my ex-girlfriend. I have to admit it, it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. I was all smiles inside and out and yeah, it went pretty well. It makes me nostalgic of the things that we've been through, both good and bad. We had lunch at one of the oldest tambayans we use to hang out at back when we were just friends. Conversation went well. And to my surprise, we didn't end up fighting. She kept making bola by saying how I've lost weight and how whiter I got. Like what the hell, right? I know I'm buying you lunch ex-girlfriend but please, that's just over board. Haha. I doubt she was flirting. Who knows? Well at least we're not just "online buddies" anymore. We're text mates now. Haha kidding.
Heading back to the office, well, I don't wanna talk about that. Haha.
So later on in the day, we decide on hanging out together, again. But we end up in her car, on our way up north. In the car we talk about whatever has happened during the day. All of a sudden our song plays. Bummer, man. Then the serious mode kicks in, so I ask her if she is happy with her life, if she is content with what she already has and what she already is. And her answer, steady lang. So besides the mixed emotions already stirring within me, I kinda get the feeling that even without me being in her life, she would be happy. There's totally nothing wrong with that. But for some reason, I felt empty. I don't know how to describe the feeling. But I felt awful. Sudden change in mood kind of thing. I don't know if the reason why I feel empty is because I'm accepting the fact that she doesn't need me in her life or its just the emptiness left behind by the love I, then and there, let go. Lord, can you fill me in? Literally.
So when I get off by my friends house, I totally forget my phone and my Ipod in her car. Sucks to be me, huh. Or is God giving me another opportunity to kick it with her?
So in line with today's 'Message from God', yes, the moment did finally come. Its been 6 months or so since we've last seen each other and talked like this. But still, I wouldn't relate it with today's events. And if I cannot wait anymore, well, guess again. True love waits, and so can everything else.
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